Disaster strikes! The Cardinal wasn't free! The Cardinal, not free, equals disaster. It's only on leaving the secure bosom of our usual haunt that I realised how utterly enamoured I've become of that cool upper room and the cheap drinks and all. Dammity damn.
Attendees: FB, CW, BL (first time).
So, I think the move and such threw some people. It was also one of those shocker days where I got apologies from six people in the last half hour before the session. No fun!
Discussed: A Still Life (RG); Hasaina Love Jan (FB)
A Still Life was submitted by Becca an age and a half ago. But I dragged it out of the frankbank as something to discuss. Colin read it out for us, and over the noise of our temporary location (Oh Albert, you are a nice pub but too loud), we tried to have some sort of discussion about it. Generally our feelings coincided that while there were elements and characters of interest, more work was required in sorting out temporal shifts and narrative voices to ensure it was more engaging and cohesive. We also felt that if this were a short story, it was woefully undeveloped. As it happens, Becca emailed me to tell me it was the start of a longer narrative, so that was as we had suspected, fortunately.
I then read my third offering to Fas, Hasaina Love Jan, a short story about teenage love and fascination in Hasan Abdal in Pakistan. Some brilliant comments and advice provided by both Bella and Colin, including tweaks to character, language, and, regrettably, the removal of a personal favourite of a paragraph. After all, the destruction of heritage didn't really sit that comfortably next to swooning and excitement and stuffs...oh well....
If anyone has any other comments they want to add, do so, please. (Watch as we hit ZERO comments).
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