Fas Autumn XI.2 - Owl Finish

A new home: our first session in The Society Club, which was both exciting and rewarding. We have a new cosy, private room in a lovely, independent bookshop. If that doesn't tempt you along, I'll have to start offering bribes as well.

Attendees (all-stars): FB, AS, AP, SC, JW, SN

Read: Mischief (SN first page for TV); One Trick (FB short story); Sugar (Opening pages of SN TV pilot)

We opened with a little bit of Mischief, Sandy's story of a mother coming to terms with her daughter leaving for university. The pair are best of friends, we are to believe, and the pilot opens with Aminah in full dream. Dream sequence leads to train station, leads to the title's mischief as she toys with the other passengers' perception of her. The concept behind the series is an interesting one: a straight-laced character deciding, on losing her closest friend, to entertain herself with out-and-out bad behaviour and satisfaction at the cost of others. As per Fas standard, we picked apart how much we understood this central character from the first two pages of her existence, as well as how easily one might move from dream-like state to action, and how much an audience would buy into the misbehaviour. There was the characteristic Nicholson streak of refusing to comply with expectation.

Inaugural session at the Club so I felt I could not come empty-handed and offered up my story One Trick, a tale of Nick, an alcohol and sometime poet, trying to get back with his woman Annie. It's interesting for me that I saw this story as very London based, but Nick's voice, all short on his participle endings, Ts and Ds, comes across more often than not as American, and particular down-and-out impoverished American. I'm not sure if that actually damages the story, but if there's confusion, and it's unintentional, then perhaps more needs to be done to sharpen up the piece. Then again, it felt as though his tone is consistent enough, and Fas understood that he was a jerk trying to be less of a jerk, and that meant the story did its job. If you want to read a copy, drop me a line.

Finally, the sweetly-titled Sugar, the opening to another television idea of Mr Nicholson. It began so beautifully: a playful, dancing reading from Adam and Sarah, and some excellent domestic dialogue between the two opening characters to this piece. Would it lead to a tiff? Or them falling under the covers of their new house? Well, neither, as some very monstrous, very scary things happened very quickly, enough that Adam was kind of shaking and the violence was graphic, terrifying, and very well written. I'm desperately trying to avoid spoilers, and we're hoping to do a reading in a future session of the entire episode, but suffice to say there is lots to talk about with this one, and the interplay between bright domesticity and horror leaves lots to be considered. Watch this space.

Next theme: scams. If you're really short on something to write, please compose a scam email with which to lure me to send you all my bank details. Prose or verse, of course, or even a little scene of scammee confronting scammer. 

Fas Autumn XI.1 - season five begins

A new season rolls around after our summer break - a gap in meetings that I hope was filled with the scratching of quills and a spatter of ink. We shall see.

Attendees: FB, SN, AP, JW, SC

Read: Sountrack (AP short); Comfort Food episode 2: 'Peach Cobbler' (SN web series episode)

Soundtrack tells the story of Molly, a seemingly care-free lass who goes about her day (breakfast; work; swooning over a boy on her lunch breaks) with rhythm and poise, until a change in her daily soundtrack has her reeling. The little things are thrown out of kilter; will it prove for the good? 

This was a charming piece, praised roundly for sticking firmly to the parameters of the story without need for explanation or exposition. We bought into the conceit of the piece immediately and were concerned then with the interplay between character and situation, rather than the 'science' (or otherwise) of how Molly's world worked. Particularly with this piece, there were the standard what-ifs prompted by a good script that left its audience with questions. Some simple polish from this second draft to a third would not go amiss, but it was comforting to hear how Alli was confident with the concept and keen to ensure it was not too strongly diluted by over-analysis or trying to do too much within 10 pages.

Speaking of comfort, Sandy's Comfort Food tells the story of Luke and Liyana, a couple trying to make their relationship work long distance by scheduling time together on the phone when they both cook the same dessert. Luke is a seasoned cook, it would seem, and his particular attention to detail clearly translates to his own worries and peculiarities in the relation: he's a stickler for things being right, for making the right amount of effort. Liyana, conveniently by contrast, is much more at ease with winging it, and therein lies our drama. We watched episode one online, before reading the script for this episode. It's a strange thing, to watch/listen to a private conversation, with its own rhythms and intimacies, its in-jokes and self-references, and feel at once both entertained by it and aware of the transgressive position of us as audience. We talked about the difficulties of filming such conversations, and how the humour on paper might translate to the screen. We also inevitably wanted to look ahead: should a third character enter the drama? Would the threat of separation, of the failure of the relationship, be essential to sustain interest? Sandy is trying not to follow overused conventions for narrating the story of this particular coupling, and it will be interesting to see how that works out. With filming due in January, there's plenty of time for us to take a look at further episodes and how the story takes shape.

Thanks again to all who contributed and attended. 

Fas Spring XI.8 - Finale

Seasons come and seasons go. There goes our fourth... here's what you missed in the last hustle.

Attendees: FB, AS, HR, JH, AP, SN (new member! woo!)

Read: The Kiss; The Alleyway (AP short scenes); I Can't Get Near It (SN play); Fiction (AP episode synopsis)

Two brief short story scenes from Alli, both focusing on the intimate moments between man and woman, the physicality and emotions behind romantic clinches. Both had an air of the poetic to them, as well a great combination of direct physical action-led prose and more flamboyant phrases, like eyes crashing into each other and such. We talked about what place the pieces might find in a longer collection, and indeed whether they should be seen as a pair at all - certainly the actors involved could conceivably have changed, as well as the underlying emotions that imbued each scene.

Next up was Sandy's play and first offering to Fas - thank you kindly. It concerned one Peter and his relationship with three women: his ex-wife, his close (flirtatious) friend, and a new acquaintance whom he tries to date. Sandy writes with a sensitivity for realistic dialogue as well as a great grasp of pace and dramatic timing. Thanks as ever go to our willing readers. As with Alli's first pieces, we talked again about what next for the piece, as well as picking about some of the instances where the drama was not quite so successful. Fortunately there is clearly much that recommends the piece and any changes Sandy makes now will not be with the introduction of entirely new characters or scenes as much as crafting what he already has into something even more functional and engaging.

Finally we took the briefest look at a synopsis by Alli for a TV episode, as part of a competition. Perhaps I should have been sharper with letting everyone know about the competition. Hmm. Anyway - it was a lively write-up for an episode and I know Alli intended to do more on it. We picked apart some of the structure of it, while praising the imagination behind it, and I think Alli had a better idea of the direction she wanted to take it in after that... job done.

Next meeting: after the lovely long summer break. Rest up; write up.

Fas Spring XI.7

Attendees: FB, JW, JH, HR, SC

Read: Static (HR sitcom pilot)

Hannah kindly let us give a reading of the opening episode for her sitcom, Static. She'd written it in a bit of a hurry for a BBC competition but was now revisiting the piece to see if it had any worth and whether she should toil on with brushing it up and generally making it shipshape. She should, as we heartily told her. Even with our rather dubious reading (and failure at accents entirely - apologies), it was clear that the characters in this piece, as well as the setting (Penrith, of course, HR's home), were well observed and delightfully brought to life. 

Some of the problems in any writing, but particularly sitcoms, were present: there was a certain closeness to her characters that blinded Hannah to some of the details an audience would crave; plotpoints that seemed obvious to the writer were missing for the audience. But the general impression was that dialogue and action worked well together to provide a realistic, engaging setting, and all that was needed was further spit and polish. 

I was reminder of two sitcom recommendations (I shy away from 'rules' deliberately) I had read recently:

1. Avoid opening with your main character waking up and closing with them heading to bed. So many sitcoms do this already - stand out from the crowd.
2. Every line should be one of set-up, punchline or furthering the narrative. There's no need to have characters giving exposition or just chatting if it's not funny or is not moving along the story. 

The challenges that so many sitcoms face are there for Hannah too; it's difficult to get a fully fleshed out main character when s/he is plunged into all sorts of complicated, humorous situations from the get-go. The temptation is to write some kind of prologue to let the audience get a handle on the character. I'd be tempted to suggest that's not the way to do it. Actions speak louder than words, and showing rather than telling us about character is obviously the better route to take. 

And fortunately, Hannah's on the right track. The rest of Fas agreed that she must work further on Static, that the characters and setting are entirely excellent, and we look forward to episode 2. Thank you, Hannah!

Fas Spring XI.6

Attendees: FB (obv), AS, HR (new member! Woo!)

Read: Turn On the Waterworks (FB short story)

This was a bit of a mini-session, but the sun was shining through the Pimlico windows so I decided to transport my generous listeners to November and snowy Canada with a story about a waterworks and two men on a month of night shifts. It's a new-ish story, so nice to hear it up on its feet. 

Commentary highlighted for me that perhaps the story was trying to do too much at once: one thread, their descent from ennui to playful game-playing, didn't sit perfectly with the other core thread, that of conversation / sharing / the relationship between the two. Overall, the mood of foreboding I had been so keen to create made something of an impression upon my critics, but perhaps I needed to turn the screw even tighter on the piece and heighten the drama at the cost of some of the more humorous tweaks that coloured the story. 

Once more, a useful, challenging session that's left me invigorated to be writing. Thank you!

Fas Spring XI.5 - Bromance

What a session! I said bromance and you said aye. Great response: thank you.

Attendees: FB, CW, AS, JW, JH, AP (all old guard - huzzah!)

Read: Bromance I & II (CW poems); A Pathetic Apathetic excerpt (JW novel); Untitled (AP short story / pitch for short); Looking For Bromance (AS comic scene)

Colin likes a challenge; so he arrived with two poems, which, he claimed, were unrelated, on the theme of philadelphia between two men. As ever, he was swift to denigrate his work, but both displayed a comfortable manipulation of language, as well as the seeds of some greater ideas. In I, he had set himself a structural rule that he had to end each stanza on a different pronoun - it was effective both for providing an internal sense to the piece, as well as drawing in the listener. (So too was the fact that each stanza began with some kind of exhortation or spoken word). Bromance II, shorter, sweeter, and over in mere moments, was a snapshot of words spoken between brethren to escape womankind. It’s the kind of thought that works particularly well in poesy. 

Another excerpt from John - this one from later in his novel where our hero has been kicked out of his home and spends his first night on the streets, meeting a homeless man, Bob, who is surprisingly kind, if a little creepy at times. It’s a great section for character development of both John’s protagonist, who thinks one thing and often does another, to humorous consequence, and Bob, who will come to play a prominent role in the narrative, we were told. As so often, we chewed over how much description was enough, and how, in fact, it was possible to get those key descriptions working without overloading a reader, nor with leaving them feeling short-changed on detail. As ever, thoughts in comments would be appreciated. 

Alli claimed to have written her piece on her phone (no harm in that - I do the same when needs must), but it was clear she had given her concept some thought. A brief scene she intended to convert for the screen was excellently executed: four boys in a pub, all after the same girl, with hilarious / disastrous consequences. As with the other things I’ve seen of Alli’s, she has an eye for telling dialogue as well as capturing something of youthful relationships swiftly and expressively. We riffed a little on how to further the tension of the piece, as well as exploring how one might shorten the scene even further to fit the constraints of converting it from a few minutes’ short story to a one page short.

Finally Adam, once again taking his lead from some of the greatest absurdist comedians and deciding to take the theme of bromance to its natural limits - homoerotic love. His scene, still incomplete, but filled with great intent, as well as some choice, thrilling details of what might go wrong when one tries to seek out the epitome of manly chat… there’s plenty to be done on the scene, of course, but Adam already had a sense of direction, and the voice of his rather self-pitying, but kindly protagonist was pleasingly engaging. I hope we see more of it in a later Fas. 

Next theme, GREEN. If you need help with ideas, hit me up. Thanks for all the support! 

Fas Spring XI.4 - social, drinkle, Together

Hey all,

The last session was one we're trialling gently, where the week night slots become a more relaxed meeting in which people might bring material, but we also chat about our own writing and where we up to, and see where conversation takes us.

Thanks to all who made it: CW, JS, RM, JO, JW and of course, HH - brilliant to see Henry back from Jerusalem and he brought a copy of his book Together that's due out in 3rd March. Very exciting to see. Meanwhile Rory brought a short for us to look at as well. 

It's always great to see material, but nicer still for Fas members to be seeking out the group for feedback. As ever, suggestions for improvement are always welcomed.